Movie Review: Woodchipper Massacre

Woodchipper Massacre

Starring: Jon McBride, Deniece Edeal, Tom Casiello, Patricia McBride, Kim Bailey, and Perren Page

Directed by: Jon McBride

Written by: Jon McBride

Release Date: 1988

B-Movie horror comedies walk a dangerous tightrope.

First, a horror comedy has to carefully balance its horror and its comedy. To much comedy and it's not actually a horror movie. It's a comedy spoofing horror movies. That doesn't mean they're bad, but the shouldn't be called horror comedies. Scary Movie is an example of this. Too much horror, and the jokes seem out of place and awkward. Shaun of the Dead is an example, though many love that film.

Then, to make things worse, being a B-Movie, it has to struggle past its limitations. The story has to be interesting enough to help us get past the fact that the camera work, acting, and effects are poor.

Willing to take on this precarious task, Jon McBride created Woodchipper Massacre.

When their father has to leave town for work, Jon, Denice, and Tom find themselves under the watchful guise of Aunt Tess. The overbearing Tess makes the siblings miserable, so when she accidentally dies, they are less concerened about her than they are getting grounded. The answer to their predicament involves a woodchipper. But what will they do when their reprobate cousin Kim comes looking for his mother.

McBride's script is a pretty well written tale of misguided suburban children, and I'd be interested to see a remake satirizing today's spoiled children and playing off the common babysitter horror tale with a twist. It's a simple script that doesn't really force anything. However, I didn't find many laughs. There's very little gore. So, while interesting, Woodchipper Massacre isn't very horrific, comedic, or engaging. The result, in the end, is what seems comparable to a lost "Brady Bunch" episode where the kids are left under the care of Alice, but Bobby accidentally kills Alice and the children have to hide it from their parents. It is like a sitcom.

The acting wasn't very good, but considering half the cast never appeared in anything else and keeping in mind the video equipment, which may have been a handheld video recorder so the sound was uncertain forcing them to more shout their lines, than actually act and deliver them, it can be excused. I mean, it was made with $400.

The final verdict is uncertain. It's not successful in any quality for which I normally look, and yet, with the thought of the "Brady Bunch" in the back of my mind, it's a fun watch.

Where Are They Now?

Denice Edeal, Tom Casiello, and Kim Baily never acted in another movie.

Jon McBride followed Woodchipper Massacre with an role acting in Blades where people are showing up sliced and diced at Tall Grass Country Club. Norman, the owner of the club, wants to avoid undue publicity on the eve of the televised pro-am tournament, and encourages new pro Roy to get to the bottom of the killings quietly. Roy has a history of alcohol problems since he choked while playing a big tournament years before, and Kelly, who feels she should have been hired as the new pro, isn't making the situation easier for him, insisting they cancel the tournament until the killer can be stopped. After a seedy character named Deke Slater is arrested, the owner relaxes, but Roy and Kelly begin to feel that Deke's rantings about a runaway lawnmower aren't so far-fetched after all, and after Deke is released the three of them prepare for a battle to the death out on the uncharted fairways. His next directorial bout was with Feeders in which he also starred. Two friends on a road trip pass through a town where aliens are landing and feeding upon the some of the civilians. His most recent acting job was in Among Us about B-movie director Billy D'Amato who has made a career out of horror movies...but when he meets a real "monster in the woods" on a shoot, he is forced to re-evaluate, and fight for, his life. His most recent directing job was Black Mass set during During World War II. Four American GIs get caught up behind enemy lines. They seek shelter in an old church where they meet a bizarre priest. Soon they learn the Nazis have been tapping certain supernatural powers. The GIs must then combat their toughest opponent yet... evil in its purest form.

Patricia McBride's next horror film was Night Crawlers about a town with strange creatures burrowing underneath it. Her most recent role was in the crime comedy The Hollywood Sign in which Three ex-Hollywood legends are going to steal $10,000,000. If they can only keep their act together.

Perren Page appeared in five episodes of "MASH", and has had a couple of other TV roles. He also appeared in a comedy short called All Bookies Wear Speedos.