Saturday, March 21, 2009

Horror Movie Review: Beauty Queen Butcher

Beauty Queen Butcher

Starring: Rhona Brody, Kathryn A. Mensik, Tammy Pescatelli, Kimberly Ann Kurtenbach, and Jim Boggess

Directed by: Jill Zurborg

Written by: Shane Partlow and Jill Zurborg

Production Company: Camp Motion Pictures

Release Date: September 11, 2007

I've always felt that recommending a B-Movie is a tricky proposition. Many people are immediately put off by the poor acting, the cheesy script, and the generally low production value. But there are many who see the fun in a well made B-Movie, and being a B-Movie fan, I have determined that there are three key components to an entertaining B-Movie. I call them the 3 B's of B-Movies: Blood, Boobs, and Bwah-hah-hah.

Blood is probably the least important component for my taste. It's important, but lack of gore isn't going to ruin a film. It's often used, however, in B-Movies to increase the gross out factor to increase buzz. Beauty Queen Butcher has very little blood and gore, despite opportunities to provide some. I cringed at the prospect that they might show a microwaved cat, but when they didn't, and the only blood in the movie was little trickles of the red stuff from wounds, I was gravely disappointed.

Boobs are very important. You create a horrible B-Movie with boobs, at least the viewers might say, "Well, that was a sucky film, but those were some nice tits on that one girl." And a movie about beauty queens...come on, what would you expect? At least one boob flash. Here? Nothing. Even the bathing suits aren't all that revealing. Major disappointment.

But all isn't lost for Beauty Queen Butcher. The most important component of a B-Movie is bwah-hah-hah...laughter...comedy. You can have a good serious B-Movie, but it's hard considering the limitations inherant in the B-Movie. Comedy often shows knowledge that, ok, they know they're not making a blockbuster, or even a block stresser. But that doesn't mean it can't be fun. Beauty Queen Butcher tried comedy, and Steve Kollin as Cameron and Peter D. Soderberg as Dick Richards, had their moments of humor, but the comedy was otherwise off and unamusing.

Beauty Queen Butcher had potential. I was able to watch the entire film because of its potential and the fact that maybe they'd pull out some blood, boobs, or that key bwah-hah-hah to make the film worth it, but it didn't.

No blood, no boobs, no bwah-hah-hah...means no recommendation from the Orgy.

Related Trailers

No one associated with this film is involved in any other horror film. In fact, most have this as their only movie. So here's the Carrie trailer since there was the claim that it's a send up of the movie of Stephen King's novel.

and the 2002 TV movie Carrie...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Cool New Horror Movie Trailers

Here are some cool new horror movie trailers...

Babysitter Wanted - A small college town girl gets a babysitting job on a rural farm and gets terrorized throughout the night.

Pandorum - A pair of crew members aboard a spaceship wake up with no knowledge of their mission or their identities.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Horror Movie Review Preview: Beauty Queen Butcher

Coming Soon...Beauty Queen Butcher. Phyllis Loden is an overweight shy nerd who is relentlessly picked on by the more popular girls. This year's Slivis Slough Queen Beauty Pageant is fast approaching and Muffy Fairlane is a lock to win. However, Muffy doesn't want any of her friends to come in last so she enters Phyllis in the pageant. The plan works and also provides the girls with some opportunities to embarrass Phyllis in front of the whole school. As if that isn't bad enough Elizabeth McKay thinks she could've won it all if it wasn't for her allergic reaction the Phyllis' cat. So the girls decide to dispose of the feline. That turns out to be the final straw which sends Phyllis on a murderous rampage to eliminate the beauty queens one by one.

Beauty Queen Butcher

Pretty is as Pretty Dead!

Starring Rhona Brody, Kathryn A. Mensik, Tammy Pescatelli, Kimberly Ann Kurtenbach, and Jim Boggess, this campy nod to Stephen King's Carrie has a 6.4 out of 10 star rating on IMDB and a 1.8 out of 5 star rating on Netflix.

Join us soon to see if Beauty Queen Butcher...wins first place.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Horror Movie Review: Poultrygeist: The Night of the Chicken Dead

Poultrygeist: The Night of the Chicken Dead

Starring: Jason Yachanin, Kate Graham, Allyson Sereboff, and Robin Watkins

Directed by: Lloyd Kaufman

Written by: Daniel Bova, Gabriel Friedman, and Lloyd Kaufman

Production Companies: Poultry Productions, LLC and Troma Entertainment

Let's face it...when you talk about a Troma film, you know there are4 certain elements you're including...gore, titties, cheesy acting, and dark, un-PC humor. Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead has it it's a musical! So, that's all you need to know...go get it!




Well, Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead follows Arbie and Wendy, teen lovers with Wendy running off to college and Arbie staying behind. While they make out in the Tromahawk burial ground, zombified hands start groping over the lovers until an ax...masturbator shows up and ruins the fun. We can see Troma's out to really change things here because you just know that following that scene, Zombie-Finger Buttplugs are going to be flying off the shelves of pervo shops everywhere!

A few years later, despite promising she wouldn't change, Wendy returns, a flaming liberal lesbian protesting the opening of an American Chicken Bunker on the very same Tromahawk burial grounds where Wendy and Arbie experimented with their special sauce. Heartbroken and angry, Arbie gets a job at the American Chicken Bunker as a counter girl. As the protestors...uh...protest...and Ron Jeremy and other patrons eat chicken, the dead Tromahawk spirits hatch their plans of vengeance as those who eat the chicken become zombified humanoid chickens. Can Arbie, Wendy, Wendy's girlfriend Micki, General Lee Roy, Paco Bell, Denny, Humus, and future Arbie (?) stop the zombie chickens from destroying American fast food? Oh, and from killing a bunch more people...that too...

The songs are fun, the gore gross, and the comedy hilarious. It's Troma at its finest.

Related Trailers

Allyson Sereboff, Wendy's lesbian lover Micki, has a small role in Frat House Massacre.

Robin Watkins has a small role in the 2008 release Beyond the Dunwich Horror.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Horror Movie Review Preview: Poultrygeist: The Night of the Chicken Dead

Coming Soon...Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. When the American Chicken Bunker, a military-themed fried-chicken chain, builds a restaurant on the site of an ancient Indian burial ground, local protesters aren't the only ones crying fowl! The previous tenants, fueled by a supernatural force, take "possession" of the food and those who eat it, and the survivors discover that they must band together before they themselves become the other white meat! Film lovers have been starved for sustenance. The relentless diet of predictability and pretense Hollywood has been serving up just doesn't cut it. Poultrygeist is hearty food for thought. In Poultrygeist, Troma takes on the the fast-food industry-skewering the soulless restaurateurs-in the world's first horror-comedy film to feature zombie chickens, American Indians and a bit of singing and dancing! It's Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead!

Humans... the other white meat... Unless you're black, then it's dark meat... Or if you are Asian, then it's yellow meat... Or if you are Native American, it's red meat...(Well, you get the idea.)

Starring Jason Yachanin, Kate Graham, Allyson Sereboff, and Robin Watkins, the Troma Studios film earned 6.7 stars out of 10 on IMDB and 2.9 stars out of 5 on Netflix.

Join us next week to see if Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead is...finger lickin' good.

Until then, enjoy the Poultrygeist music video from Calamari Safari!