Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Horror Movie Review: The Cook

The Cook

Starring: Mark Hengst, Kit Paquin, Makinna Ridgway, Penny Drake as Anastasia.Penny Drake, Nina Fehren, Noelle Kinney, Brooke Lenzi, Justine Marino, Stefanie Solano, and Allen Yates

Directed by: Gregg Simon

Written by: Nicholas Bonomo, Francisco Rodriguez, and Dirk Van Fleet

Produced by: The Cook Movie and Red Gourmet Productions

Release Date: April 1, 2008

Awards: The STIFFY at the Seattle True Independent Film Festival for being the Most Kickass Film

You won't mind eating this four...and I mean as supper.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar...but not always...The Cook is kind of like a hot dog. If you separated all the meat by-products that went into a hot dog, you'd have a table full of stuff you wouldn't want to eat, but brought all together and with some condiments on top, you have yourself a tasty treat.

The Cook is about a sorority house who hires a new cook who can't speak English. See, he's from Hungary...That's right, he's a Hungarian Cook...pun clearly intended, and that joke should set the tone for you and this film. Plenty of nonsense... Because women can't help but disrobe around each other...

Like the sorority sisters display a wide range of personality types and interests and don't hardly get along. There's the studious Amy, the athletic Bunny, the lesbian Anastasia, the religious Kristen, and Brooke, Autumn, Pam, and Michelle, four drug taking sluts of questionable sexuality who make fun of everyone else. Throw in Bunny's geeky math tutor Lance and it's surprising they aren't killing each other before the cook can get around to it.
A toast to the Cook, whose toast is more toe-st
Makinna Ridgway plays Amy. Her performance is a little stale, but pulls off some natural looking scenes with The Cook as the lonely girl finding the foreigner who can't speak English charming. Kit Paquin plays Bunny who mixes her signals with tudor Lance. She gives us a reasonable performance and we grow to like her more as she loosens up on Lance, played comedically by Allen Yates. The attractive Penny Drake plays tough lesbian Anastasia. She seemed to have forced her lines, but given her role as leather-clad dominatrix, that might be understandable. Nina Fehren leads the pot smoking foursome and her role as bitchy lesbian makes An honest man is crucial to a lasting mean...I mean, relationship...her someone we just can't wait to see get killed. Simpleminded Autumn is played by Noelle Kinney, with Justine Marino as Pam and Stephanie Solano as slutty Michelle rounding out the bitch squad. None of the actresses gave us memorable performances, but they didn't give us painfully bad acting either. Finally Brooke Lenzi plays the sexually confused, religious Kristen torn between her faith and Anastasia's advances.

Can you tell what is going on in this scene?By now you should have noticed that this film appeals to almost every male fantasy about a sorority house because that's the market the writers were going for. You can't watch this and expect a serious slasher flick. Sex, drugs, and lesbians are on menu in The Cook. It's a modern day exploitation flick and it's not exploiting good acting or writing.

Other than ample shots of not so ample naked young women, The Cook showcases Mark Hengst who steals the show...well, ok, not away from the breasts, I mean...but in terms of performance. Hengst clearly had a lot of fun in his role as the Hungarian cook. While many of his looks seemed silly, he was still able to pull off a feeling of menace in this silly, paper thin plot. Especially his final scene.

Where Else Can I See Them?

The majority of the actors, the writers, and director Gregg Simon haven't appeared in or worked on any other horror movies.

Mark Hengst - Hengst continues to feast on human flesh in Live Evil. Human blood is no longer fit for consumption as the vampire race slowly becomes extinct.

Makinna Ridgway - Before her role in The Cook, Ridgway appeared in 666: The Beast. Donald Lawson, the devil child from "666: The Child", is now an adult and is determined to fulfill his destiny as the Antichrist.

Penny Drake- Before The Cook, Penny dealt with other flesh eaters in Zombie Strippers. In the not too distant future a secret government re-animation chemo-virus gets released into conservative Sartre, Nebraska and lands in an underground strip club. As the virus begins to spread, turning the strippers into "Super Zombie Strippers" the girls struggle with whether or not to conform to the new "fad" even if it means there's no turning back. Penny can't seem to get away from people eaters as her next film will be Necrosis. In 2008, as six friends arrive at an isolated cabin to enjoy a long weekend in the snow. An epic snowstorm interrupts their vacation, trapping them on the mountain and resurrecting the haunting ghosts of the Donner Party. But, are they true 'entities' or is it simply 'cabin fever' that brings out their fears and darkness, causing friends to turn against each other as reality deteriorates around them.

1 comment:

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